MIL drama

Anyone have some good advice on handling FMIL/MIL drama? Mine is either trying to be my best friend or cursing my name and wishing me dead. This time I didn't call her back fast enough...

Re: MIL drama

Don't worry ! I feel the same way.... I have done nothing to her ...and she is not happy that me and FH are getting married ... the way we feel .. if she shows up ... that is up to her !!!!!!!! Don't let it even bother you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: MIL drama

Ugh, I hate that. Either they hate you or they like you so much that if you aren't their best friend they constantly make you feel bad... grrr! As if having our own family drama isn't enough!

Re: MIL drama

Oh yeah... This is the woman who wore white to my wedding and was drunk at my bridal shower (first time my mother met her too, which was peachy!).

Obviously, don't know your situation or her temperament, but seek out advice from your FH on how to interact and make sure he is aware of it too. If you can put your foot down and be firm from the start, do it. Head off the nutso behavior at the starting gate. Sadly, it can get worse.

GL!

Re: MIL drama

i really think you shouldn't let her ruin this happy moment and if she does something tell her firmly...w/o cursing of course because then you will be the "bad person" and you don't want that..just let her know you won't let her get in between

Re: MIL drama

It's such a shame that In-Laws can be like that. And, as we all have basically discovered, weddings certainly do seem to bring out the worst in people. My future MIL was SO sweet welcoming me into the family, but I'm starting to see some of her true colors now and it's freaky. Even though she's not 'against' our marriage, it seems as though it just may not be 'important' enough for her make it. So whatever. I'm trying not to let it get me down (even though it's difficult when I see my FH hurting). Grrrr. Nothing I can do to change people, I guess. I tried and got burned. Oh well.

Re: MIL drama

I am polite even when she screams in my face, I just tell her I'll talk to her when she calms down. I just got cc'd on an email that she sent, canceling our videographer. Because I didn't call her back fast enough!! I swear I'm really laughing more than upset but seriously I don't even know what to do anymore. FH knows everything to. He doesn't really know what to do either... I don't even ask for things. Many of the things she does, I don't even want. And then she goes around telling everyone how much money she spends on me. She even put in the email that she bought me 30 gifts for my shower. Not one was from our registry... sorry this is turning into a rant.... Once I see it in writing it makes me laugh at how ridiculous it is. So I'm feeling a little better now...

Re: MIL drama

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Posted by sareejoh

I am polite even when she screams in my face, I just tell her I'll talk to her when she calms down. I just got cc'd on an email that she sent, canceling our videographer. Because I didn't call her back fast enough!! I swear I'm really laughing more than upset but seriously I don't even know what to do anymore. FH knows everything to. He doesn't really know what to do either... I don't even ask for things. Many of the things she does, I don't even want. And then she goes around telling everyone how much money she spends on me. She even put in the email that she bought me 30 gifts for my shower. Not one was from our registry... sorry this is turning into a rant.... Once I see it in writing it makes me laugh at how ridiculous it is. So I'm feeling a little better now...

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Re: MIL drama

i was wondering for the first 6 months FH and i were dating if i would ever meet his family well now i know why-

some of them are soooo two faces and one min they are your best friend and oh yea can they change in a heart beat- to top it off we have a child together and i put my foot down a long time ago when it came to that- FH knows what he has and and gotten in her face a couple of times about the stuff that goes on.

once the wedding stuff is over and the contact becomes less i hope that it calms down for you.

like me all i can say is deep breath and stay away from any fire arms

Re: MIL drama

you are not alone!!!!

i say, IGNORE!!!!!!!!!! I learned that over the years -- don't let them get to you! Be confident in what you want and don't let them convince you otherwise or make you feel bad -- IGNORE IGNORE DELETE!

Re: MIL drama

I know how you must feel.
I refuse to let FMIL be a part of the planning in any way. She's the kind of person who loves to be in control (you give her an inch, she'll take a mile type). Hence why we are paying for the wedding along with my parents. I'm just glad my parents understand that it's MY wedding and it should be what me & FH want.

My FMIL has even told my FSIL that she "might not go" or "will wear white". She wears white I am asking her to leave. I refuse to have that. She doesn't show? All the better. My FH has aunts & a lovely god mother who can stand in.

My FMIL is so awful that if I told you all she's done to her family in the past it would be the longest post ever.... she's never said anything about me (to my face, just to everyone else behind my back). I'm sort of waiting for the day she has the nerve to finally say something so I can tell her how glad I am to finally hear it from her mouth instead of everyone elses and that I wish she could just be happy for her son.

She's called people saying "Their getting married on such & such a date" when we didn't even set a date... and then tells FH that I made her look stupid by not having the wedding on that day (she wanted us to get married on her birthday! need i say more about her being in control & center of attention!).

Re: MIL drama

I have the same crap going on but with my fbil's wife, not my mil. She has made my life virtually impossible and makes things uncomy and miserable to the point that I avoid going into any mutual house with her. It's absolutely absurd and aggrivating and it makes me nuts.

The best advice I can give, and hope to follow myself, is to avoid them at all costs and just ignore her. If you have to be around her, then niceness could kill so be overly nice, otherwise just ignore her and too bad if she doesn't like it.

Re: MIL drama

I try and spend little time as possible with my MIL. she has improved somewhat , but she is still a terrible FMIL , i have ranted before about her. Is yours paying for anything for the wedding? If so , I would pay it myself just so I don't have to deal with her . Your FH needs to deal with her , and like i tell mine " handle your mother , because I don't want it to get ugly"

dont let her ruin your day

Re: MIL drama

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Posted by Cpt2007

Oh yeah... This is the woman who wore white to my wedding and was drunk at my bridal shower (first time my mother met her too, which was peachy!).

Obviously, don't know your situation or her temperament, but seek out advice from your FH on how to interact and make sure he is aware of it too. If you can put your foot down and be firm from the start, do it. Head off the nutso behavior at the starting gate. Sadly, it can get worse.

GL!

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Re: MIL drama

Just try to breathe and take it with a grain of salt.
The wedding is fast approaching and I'm sure she has little stresses that she is dealing with. Just deal with your own stuff and be positive!

Re: MIL drama

Getting your FH to handle things now is really important- you need him to realize that standing up for you is part of his job. My friend had this problem for a long time and w/o FH help, it was a distaster..

And for another friend, it all changed when they were actually married. She said you are family now, nothing will change that and completely changed! This coming from a woman who used to make meat dinner entrees and tell my vegetarian friend that it was made so she could eat it!