E-ring drama

Would you say something to your fiancé if you’re unhappy with your engagement ring?

Here goes the dilemma:

Coworker got engaged last night, but she is unhappy with the size or her diamond “smaller than 1 carat” (it looks like one carat to me). So, she came over and asked if she should tell her FH that she wants a bigger diamond. I advised her not to do so because is rude and would crush his feelings. She thinks that by telling him, he’s going to get her another ring……
Thoughts anyone??

Re: E-ring drama

WHoa, that is rough. I don't know what I would do, but I think I would suck it up and deal. It's not about the size of the ring really....it's about the committment, but I guess that is easier said than felt!

Re: E-ring drama

I would never tell my FH to get me a bigger ring.... Everrrrrrr!! I think its really rude.
She could always upgrade her ring in a few years for their anniversary or something.

Re: E-ring drama

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

Re: E-ring drama

I totally agree with you. I don't think she should say anything. An e-ring is not like he purchased a pair of earrings and she wants to exchange them. There probably was so much thought and time put in on his part to pick her out what he thought would be the perfect ring.

Re: E-ring drama

I think it depends on her reasoning- if its just for a bigger rock- not cool
sometimes the ring does not suit a style or a work environment

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

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Re: E-ring drama

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Posted by CMBove

I think it depends on her reasoning- if its just for a bigger rock- not cool
sometimes the ring does not suit a style or a work environment

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Re: E-ring drama

I would never ever go and say to DH that I don't like my ring. It would insult him. It sounds like to me she wants a bigger rock. I would let her know that she can go an upgrade on her bridal set or for her 1st anniversary. That is just wrong.

Re: E-ring drama

She told me that they have been together for 7 years and she always spoke about wanting to get a 2 carat ring. She feels that he should have waited a bit longer until he was able to afford it…… I was speechless!!


But I feel sad that she doesn’t like her ring and she doesn’t want to wear it to the office.
I can only imagine her thoughts when I got engaged because my ring is less than a carat too

Re: E-ring drama

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Posted by KYBride09

She told me that they have been together for 7 years and she always spoke about wanting to get a 2 carat ring. She feels that he should have waited a bit longer until he was able to afford it…… I was speechless!!


But I feel sad that she doesn’t like her ring and she doesn’t want to wear it to the office.
I can only imagine her thoughts when I got engaged because my ring is less than a carat too

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Posted by Cacarina

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Posted by KYBride09

She told me that they have been together for 7 years and she always spoke about wanting to get a 2 carat ring. She feels that he should have waited a bit longer until he was able to afford it…… I was speechless!!


But I feel sad that she doesn’t like her ring and she doesn’t want to wear it to the office.
I can only imagine her thoughts when I got engaged because my ring is less than a carat too

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Clearly if her FH could afford a 2 carat ring, he would have gotten her one. She needs to stop thinking so selfishly, IMO. Send her this pic and tell her this can be her two carat ring....

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Message edited 8/28/2008 6:00:12 PM.

Re: E-ring drama

Seriously, I think the E-ring means so much more than it's size. When I was proposed to, the LAST thing I thought about was how big a diamond he got me. All I needed to know was that he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and that he got what he could afford.

I have a friend who's always saying that the size of the ring determines how much he loves you. I HATE that! Some people just make more money that others. Maybe if the diamond is so big ,that actually means he's compensating for something. <~~~ both ideas just as stupid as the other.

If he could definitely afford a lot more, but got you less - THEN i'd have a problem. But it doesn't seem that's the issue in this case.

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I agree with all of you ladies. After FH gave me the ring, he said if you don't like it we can always change it. I said this is the ring you proposed with, this is the ring I keep. I did have a friend who upgraded hers 2 times before the wedding. If she is set on saying something...tell her to do it discreetly. They could go look at wedding bands at the same place the ring was purchased and they jeweler can casually mention their upgrade policy. I personally wouldn't say a thing. It's the thought that counts.

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Some people really need to get the priorities straight. When my parents got engaged 42 years ago, the size, clarity, etc were not important. Her ring is a carat and they've had 40.5 years of marriage so far. How anyone can ask for a bigger ring is beyond me. It's the sentiment that matters and the fact that FH chose that special ring for her. Tell her to get over it and love her ring because the man she loves gave it to her.

Ps: sorry im hostile lol

Re: E-ring drama

it's a hard position to be in... i think size is a touchy subject, but if DH had gotten me a ring I hated (not so much size but design) I'd be upset... because I wouldn't want to change my e-ring, and i'd be "stuck" with it forever. i'm sure i'd get used to it and learn to love it. I dont think I'd say anything to him, but you never know unless you're in that position.

If she does say something to him, it will probably hurt him a lot -- especially because of the complaint she does have "it's not big enough"

Re: E-ring drama

I think if she truly loved her FH and wanted to be with him the rest of her life should be happy that after 7 years he proposed and shouldn't care if she got a carat or two.
I went to pick my e-ring with FH, he was looking at the big ones while I was looking at the smaller ones. Big doesn't always mean better. I could have picked a big rock for myself, but I didn't because I know how hard FH works. I knew he could afford it, but chose not to, I rather save that extra $ for the wedding.

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My FH would seriously be crushed. We do not have alot of money and saved for a year to buy my ring. He spent months odering it and choosing a stone etc. If I had picked my ring on my own this might not have been the one I picked but I love it to death when I think about what it means.

For a girl to openly say at work "My ring is so little im embarrased to wear it" Says something about her. Im sure after 7 years her FH wouldn't be surprized if she told him. It's going to come out sooner or later that she hates it. I guess now is better then closer to the wedding.

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for me it's all about quality vs. quantity... and i would never tell my FH i wanted a larger diamond...

Re: E-ring drama

That is tough, but I would definitely not say anything. That would really hurt FH. I love my ring, but if I didnt I still woujldn't say anything.

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It is a tough situation. I don't care about sizes or even if I got a ring. All I care about is that I found the person I love and am going to spend the rest of my life with him.
Out of curiosity, who has an e-ring less than 1 carat????

Message edited 8/28/2008 8:57:57 PM.

Re: E-ring drama

an ex-friend went through this. she told her fiance, and he was very upset. in the end she said he "understood" and told her that he will get her the ring she deserves someday. Had this been MY fiance, he would have taken the ring back and found another girl

Re: E-ring drama

i don't think she should because it is the meaning behind the engagement ring that's bigger than anything. the E-ring is his committment to her 'supposedly' for a lifetime. i think it would really ruin things but if it doesn't, it would only make them stronger (-= contradicting..but yea..good luck to your friend..

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Posted by KYBride09

It is a tough situation. I don't care about sizes or even if I got a ring. All I care about is that I found the person I love and am going to spend the rest of my life with him.
Out of curiosity, who has an e-ring less than 1 carat????

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